im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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