If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize