just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Randomize
