I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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