I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Randomize
