Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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