what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
