I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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