Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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