Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Randomize
