YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
