I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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