So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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