it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
