she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
