Moan for me like Helen Keller
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
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