Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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