Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I will pee on everything he values.
Boobs speak an international language.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Randomize
