im drinking this country out of the recession.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
