and you said cock pushups were impossible
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
of course. lets lasso hookers.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Randomize
