I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Randomize
