Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
