can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
