stop calling my apartment porn island.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize