I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
