In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
