If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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