she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
