remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
