i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
