Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
