Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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