there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
