I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
