Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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