You're completely useless in the revolution.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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