Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
