My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
