My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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