do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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