i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
accomplished twins. life is a go
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Randomize
