You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
