I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
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