Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
It's never too late to be topless.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
We are all done wearing pants today
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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