To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I just saw a hot homeless man
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize