Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Please don't give away my fajitas
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
