The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Let's get the cat blown out
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