No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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