Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
We smell like vodka and hangover
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