i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize