Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
