we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
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