you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
