Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize