I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
he puts the penis in happiness.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
