sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
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