I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
