I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
