Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
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