Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
