Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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