I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
dude. I can hear the air.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
