Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize