we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
