Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Randomize
