Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Randomize
