That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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