i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
