Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
