Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
