I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Randomize
