farters have to be the big spoon...
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
