12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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