ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
cat food counts as protein by the way
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize