She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
